A letter to my future child on the eve of Mother's Day

For the last 4 years, I've had a heavy heart on Mother's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love to celebrate my beautiful mom and all the other beautiful moms in my life. But it's not an easy day for anyone touched by infertility and/or loss. Months of failed cycles turned into years and with every Mother's Day that passed with empty arms, I began to lose hope. When was it going to be my turn? Most years I shut myself off from social media to protect my heart as it was a difficult place to be when you long for the one thing that seems like everyone has but you.

But this Mother's Day is different. Adoption has brought a renewed hope. Before adoption, I questioned if I'd ever be a mother. Now, it's not a matter of if, but when. Adoption has brought with it different set of emotions, but optimism is at the forefront. I hope and pray next Mother's Day I'll be writing an entirely different post, but until then, I will remain patient. 

I took a minute today to reflect on how things have changed in a year and that served as my inspiration for this letter. To all those who continue to faithfully wait your turn, know that you aren't alone. You are in my thoughts this weekend and your time IS coming. 

A letter to my future child

It's difficult to put into words the amount of love I feel for someone I haven't physically met yet. Truth is, I feel like I already know you. I see you in every hope, dream and wish I've made for the last 4 1/2 years. I see us playing in the backyard, baking together in the kitchen and snuggling up watching movies in the rec room. I see your papa holding you proudly and Bronson kissing your nose. You've been growing in my heart since 2013 and the love I have for you is overwhelming. You are pretty special, that's for sure! Not every child can say they are 4+ years in the making.

There aren't many promises a mother can keep to her child but know there are a few I can wholeheartedly follow through on. I promise to love you unconditionally. I promise to pray for your every single day and will do everything I can to keep you healthy and safe. I will never let a day pass without telling you I love you. You are so incredibly wanted by your papa and me and will always be our most cherished gift.

It's been a very emotional journey and I won't take one minute of our time together for granted (even those late nights that lead to early mornings!) One day I will share everything that it took to get you here. And know I would do it a million times over again if that's what it took for us to be together. 

All my love,

Mom xxoo

A long overdue update!

Oh my goodness it's been almost 2 month since our last update. Sorry to keep you all hanging :)

In mid-March, Child and Family services sent us a letter informing us that we were officially home studied approved! That means that all forms were submitted, all of the background checks were completed and our social worker finalized our biography that was sent off to our adoption agency. Jon and I (and Bronson!) are now considered a "waiting family" which means we are cleared to be matched with a birthmother/birth family at any moment. So now the waiting begins.

Angel received our finalized home study at the end of March and made our profile public around the beginning of April! It was really exciting to see our family's story on their web page with all the other waiting families. Click here to see Our profile

They even made it facebook official! I'll also share the post on our facebook page (Funding Baby Fiore)

This journey has not been easy, but with each passing milestone, we are one step closer to achieving our dreams. Many have reached out to Jon or me to see how things are progressing with the adoption. A few have expressed concern that it would upset us or stress us out- that couldn't be further from the truth! You reaching out means you are thinking of us and our journey and that means the world to Jon and me. Your support and kind words have gotten us this far and we can truly feel every good thoughts and prayer coming our way.

We can't do an update without a picture of the progress on our fundraiser. We so thankful and couldn't be more appreciative of all the support. Bronson says he's very excited to be a big brother!

Lastly, I could not close out this update without mentioning something. Today marks the last day of National Infertility Awareness Week. Even though we are done with treatments, infertility will always be a part of us and we are forever changed by our experiences. This week of advocacy and hope will always hold a special place in our hearts. Any readers who continue to fight the battle against infertility- you have our support and prayers always.

With love,
Karen and Jon

Hello, March!

March is here and all things adoption related are moving along! Our final home study visit was last week. Our social worker updated us on the things they are waiting on- FBI clearance for both of us and my Massachusetts CORI check. Once those things are in, she will have the complete home study written up to present to us for our approval. Once we approve it, they will send it to Angel Adoption and we will be what is considered as "home study approved" There were so many steps and processes we had to get through to get to this point and now that we are in the home stretch, it's becoming more real!

Speaking of becoming more real- our adoption agency has put together our profile!!!!! We worked really hard gathering pictures, participating in a photo shoot (thanks Erin, Olivia and Melanie!) and putting together little stories about us and our family, a thank you letter to birth mothers, etc so to see it all in print was very exciting and surreal. This is happening! Angel will immediately be presenting our profile to birth moms and once we are home studied approved, our profile will become public and we will be able to share it with all of you!

As each day passes we are getting closer to our dreams of becoming parents. We can't thank everyone enough for the positive thoughts, prayers and donations. There is still time to donate if you would like! Contributions can be made via PayPal or we can provide you with our address if writing a check is your preference (email us at fundingbabyf@gmail.com)

Here is an updated picture of our puzzle! thanks again for your generosity

With love,
Karen and Jon

What led us to adoption 

We have been trying to conceive since January 2013. 4 years of invasive testing, early morning blood draws, 2 surgeries, oral medications that led to injectables for 6 rounds of infertility procedures left us exactly where we were in Jan 2013- without a baby and way less hopeful.  The kind of heartbreak you feel after seeing "not pregnant" on a test month after month is something I don't wish on my worst enemy.

We've been praying for a child for 48 months.

I came home one afternoon, sat next to my husband and something hit me like a ton of bricks; we spent 4 years trying everything we could to get pregnant but in the process lost sight of our main desire: to love a child.  That's where our dream of adoption came to life. 

Our fundraiser

Unfortunately we didn't have any insurance coverage for infertility treatments and paid completely out of pocket. Not only did we endure disappointment, but our funds quickly dwindled to pay for these treatments.  Our family was more than gracious to help us out financially to start the adoption process. Next up is legal fees and travel expenses (including air fair to fly out to get our baby and lodging/food while we spend the 1-2 weeks in their birth state until we are cleared to leave). All proceeds of the fundraiser will go directly to help defray the cost of legal fees and travel expenses.

The theme of our fundraiser is "help us find our missing piece" We've purchased a blank puzzle with each piece worth $30. When someone "buys" a piece or pieces, we plan to write their name on the
piece(s) When the puzzle is complete, we will frame it and hang it in the nursery. Every time we look at it, we'll be reminded of those who helped us complete our family.   

How to contribute

There is a button (you need to click on "view web version to see it) to link you directly to our PayPal account where you can "buy" any amount of pieces you chose (in $30 increments). We are working on a Venmo option and will keep you updated when that is added.  If you would like to contribute via personal check please e-mail us at FundingBabyF@gmail.com and we'll provide you with a mailing address.

Our thanks

Many of you have been with us on this up and down journey from the start-we can't thank you enough for your love and support. Many are just learning about our journey- welcome and thank you for reading. If your heart leads you to decide to make a contribution to our fundraiser, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We plan to teach our child(ren) about all who helped our family. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but in our case it also takes a village to get them here. Thank you in advance to all who are a part of our "village"

With love, 

Karen and Jon 

The adoption seminar and a puzzle update!

On Saturday, Jon and I attended an all day adoption preparation seminar in Manchester. It is a requirement for our home study. Some of the themes included attachment, development, children in care, grief and loss. It was very informative! We also got to connect with other couples who are in various stages of their adoption process. They seminar ended with a reading of "The Mulberry Bird: An Adoption Story" It was a beautiful story and we plan to add it to our child's library.

Next up is part two of our home study. We mailed out our pictures and personal excerpts to Angel Adoption so they can start to put together our profile! Once our home study is completed, our profile will become public and sent to birth moms/birth families. So exciting!


The puzzle is coming along! We continue to be blown away by the support of our family and friends We can not thank those enough who have donated, prayed for us/baby Fiore and followed along on our journey.  There is no doubt we will have one very loved baby!

There is still time to help us find our missing piece! We have a PayPal link to donate electronically, or if you prefer to send a check, email us at FundingBabyF@gmail.com for our address. Thanks again for all your support.

With love,
Karen and Jon

Part one of the home study and a fundraiser update!

There are many requirements you must fulfill before you can adopt domestically. One of those requirements is a home study. On Saturday, a social worker came out to our house to complete part one. It consisted of her asking many questions about our childhoods, our relationship/marriage, our infertility story and what led us to adoption. We felt very comfortable with her and the conversation flowed easily! We gave her a tour of our home and she finished up by letting us know what we can expect the next time she visits with us.
One of the highlights was how well behaved Bronson was! He chewed on his toys in his bed most of the visit and spent the remaining time by our sides on the couch. I think he won her over with his big blue eyes! Don't worry, we gave him extra treats to reward the good behavior :)

On our snow day(s) we began putting the names of those who donated on the puzzle pieces! We are so overwhelmed with gratitude to all who have donated, reached out to us to share their story and give their support or just a quick hello to say they are thinking of us. We wouldn't be where we are today without the support of our family and friends and we will never take that for granted.

There is still time to donate if you would like! As a reminder, there is a PayPal link on this blog (if you are viewing it on mobile device, click "view web version" to find the link on the top right) or from our Facebook page click "shop now". 

Next up is an 8 hour adoption class on Saturday and part two of the home study the week after. Things are moving right along! As always, thanks for joining in our excitement. 

With love, 

Karen and Jon